When in Rome: Twenty Taboos in a Mosuo Household

When you stay at a Mosuo guesthouse or visit a Mosuo family at Lugu Lake, knowing the taboos below will save you a great deal of awkwardness — and make your hosts feel you understand their manners. These rules are not stiff do's and don'ts; behind them lie the Mosuo reverence for the hearth, their regard for life, and their awe of nature.

The Hearth and the Mother House: Rules Inside the Home

The hearth (火塘) is "the heart of the house" in a Mosuo home, and it carries the most rules:

Never step on the guozhuang (锅庄, the ancestor-veneration marker above the hearth)
When passing by the hearth, walk behind people — never step across in front of them
Do not whistle beside the hearth at night
Do not spit into the hearth
Dirty words are forbidden in the home, especially anything of a sexual nature

Once you enter the Mosuo mother house (母屋) and sit around the hearth, these are the first things to remember.

Rules at the Table

When topping up rice, always add two ladlefuls. A single ladle is a grave discourtesy — that one ladle is the share offered to ghosts
Dog, cat, frog, snake and horse meat are forbidden, as is beef from plough oxen (they believe an ox toils all its life, and eating its meat brings retribution)
Men and children do not eat the foods reserved for women during their month of confinement after childbirth (this rule protects the new mother's nutrition)

When you eat in a Mosuo home, remember to ask the host to add two ladles of rice — don't scoop only one for yourself.

On the Road and When Travelling

When riding through a village, dismount at its edge and lead the horse through, as a show of respect to the villagers
If you meet an elder or a lama (喇嘛) on the road, dismount at once and stand aside on the lower side of the path
When passing a mani stone pile (玛尼堆), walk clockwise around it three times before going on — this is a prayer
Once family members have left the house, sweeping the floor or taking out the rubbish is forbidden

On the village paths around Yongning (永宁) you will see many mani piles — remember to circle them clockwise.

The Boundary Between Life and Death

When a woman is giving birth, strangers must not enter the house
Pregnant women do not attend funerals (for fear that emotional disturbance might harm the foetus)
A pregnant woman does not go out after dark (for fear of being frightened)
Women are forbidden to take life

These taboos are bound up with the Mosuo view of life and death: they revere life, believing that conceiving and giving birth are sacred things that outsiders should not disturb.

Boundaries Between People

Brothers and maternal uncles must not discuss the love affairs of their sisters or nieces
People of the same matrilineal descent cannot enter Walking Marriage (走婚) with one another
The disabled must never be abused or discriminated against — the Mosuo regard disabled people as messengers sent from heaven

Why These Taboos Exist

Put all twenty together and they come down to four ideas: reverence, regard, avoidance, protection.

Reverence — for the hearth and the guozhuang, because the ancestors sit there (the "qiado" (恰多) offered on the guozhuang before every meal is the share set aside for the ancestors); reverence for mani piles and sacred mountains, because everything has a soul. Regard — for life: two ladles of rice so the guest won't go hungry; confinement foods kept from men and children to protect the mother's nutrition; no plough-oxen meat, in memory of the ox's toil. Avoidance — of incest: no Walking Marriage within the same matrilineal line, no talk of sisters' love affairs between brothers and uncles — all to guard the boundaries of blood. Protection — of nature: do not fell trees at water sources or at cremation grounds, out of awe for the mountains and waters.

You don't need to memorize all twenty; just remember the few you'll meet most: don't step on the guozhuang, don't whistle, take two ladles of rice, circle mani piles clockwise, and don't sweep up rubbish when you enter — your time at Lugu Lake will go far more smoothly.